i hate talking a lot, i always ramble and tend to act like a air head. i think its cause i live in my mind so i dont wanna think when i speak. i just wanna throw away my thoughts somewhere, i guess thats why im writing this. it feels worthless knowing no one will read this. but its better than embarassing myself. i try to keep conversations when im intrested in them but sometimes, i feel my thoughts are too dumb to say anything. I feel to unworthy to say anything serious, i hate that about myself. i cant say whats on my mind but i always have no filter. what is it? why do i act stupid when i think about these things and seem to know so much about the topic im intrested in, maybe my brains not orginized? im not sure. gosh i hate questions!!! its my fault, im stupid arent i!! im choosing to be oblivous so my worries wont stick to me, so people can tell me everything, even if i know what theyre telling me. i hate when im treated dumb, but i am dumb. i have to many thoughts that i dont have thoughts anymore. will anybody read this, and will they see that my brain fills with thoughts that i dont want. i forget everything cause it feels good to feel like you NEED people. its better to know people NEED you. i feel good knowing people know i need them, they might take advanage of it, but its better to listen and to obey. i dont wanna think anymore.